It's been a bit since I posted last, but this is big post for me. I spent the past almost 5 Months Living with a Wonderful Family and getting to see a new light in their home. It's been interesting to live from place to place to see, oh hey- guess what? Life really is, what it is and every thing I do now is actually posing an important part in my future. I have been blessed to have the experiences I have had and with all those changes comes a lot of learning. Learning that I can only pray that the Lord and I are in Tune and I can be ready to accept the teachings he has planned for me. I am indefinitely blessed.
Now Something really has been on my mind lately and I want to clarify my thoughts on the matter.- I have had a lot of changes in my life. Yes, and with that I had some thoughts as to what i've learned. I've had a lot of people tell me to change little things to impress the new people coming into my life, the people in my future who I haven't met yet. Well here is the reality and my answer to people who tell me the things I should do different. No.
I know what you are thinking. No? Yes, No. Let me put it this way. This is my life, I am here to learn the way I will learn. And while I do appreciate suggestions, when I say thank you, or I would rather not. It is at that point people should drop it. In my opinion. I know I am not Grade A- Top Notch- Most Skinny, Beautiful Woman, with the perfect job and a "Hug me- I'm sweet and a woman attitude." (Not saying that's bad)
Let's be honest. I am a Custodian Assistant, a Handi Woman if you may, A Sweeper. I love that. I love that about myself, that I can do the things that mainly would be left for maybe a man, it just means I am flexible.
When it comes to my looks, I can be beautiful, in fact not Can, I am indeed. Somedays more than others of course. But Let us be honest, If you know me, than you know, that I have never been this super petite, quiet, pretty girl- That Society Maybe Thinks I should be.
Today I had a conversation with my Best Friend and told her that I felt like I couldn't live up to be the ideal woman society believes I should be. And she told me, in a nutshell to be myself and do the things that make me feel comfortable, yet good about myself. I have felt beyond nervous with trying to impress people in my life especially at my age where the pressure is on for Careers, Schooling, Living, Relationships. It's a lot of pressure.
But for me, I will say this. I am who I am and that's all that I am. I am not petite, I have some weight. I am not the most beautiful, but I am proud of the way I can make myself look. I do not have a subtle, quiet, cute humor and personality. I am Loud. If you know me, you know that is the first thing you learn about me. I am sarcastic, I am a hard worker and I am STILL a Daughter of God. There is a time and a place for things to change and as I get older the more I am learning and wanting to change things. But I need to do it on my own and at my own pace.
And that's what I intend to do.
Thank you all for being so fabulous and supporting me. I can't tell you how much I appreciate you all and the love and friendships you all give me.
Alyssa
