Here is the most blunt truth that i can give to people in regards to what i'm doing, people ask, people want to know, people want to catch up and find out. Well Here.
No. I'm not dating anyone. I am working the same job that i Have been working for 3 years. I am working the same hours, everyday that i have worked the past 3 years. I live in the same place I have lived the past 2 years, and no I am not having a deep spiritual transformation.
Any you know what, that's fine. I know that I can't see my infinite potential. I know I can't see anyone else's the way our Father in Heaven can. But do you know what? Sitting next too all of my imperfections, my stubbornness and my inability to do what i want sometimes when I want. I am sitting on the exact same level as everyone else.
I am not easy to talk too sometimes, I am not easy to live with. I am not easy to visit and I'm not easy to be around all the time. So what? So what if I am not as easy to be around as everyone else. So what? I am really so tired of the comparison. Truly, here is something to think about. Recently, Sister Wendy Nelson spoke at a devotional. She asked this question-
"If you found out that the Savior was already on the earth, what would
you desperately want to do today, and what would you be willing and
ready to do tomorrow?"
When I first heard this, I felt guilty and scared. I felt like I wouldn't do the things i should and I feel like I have a bunch of things that would pretty much keep me from the blessings of Heaven. Well. Maybe it's true. Maybe that's what it is. But guess what? I thought to myself today after hearing this question again.
If today was the day for myself. I would probably find my Savior and bawl. Because that's how terrible I feel. I would bawl because of all my imperfections and because I can't see what I am supposed to be. And i don't think I am alone here.
Right now I'm not reaching my potential. So what? Neither is anyone else. This is why we are here, to learn and grow and get better. It's hard, but i'm tired of feeling like I'm worth less because i'm different and imperfect. But here is the truth, like everyone else. I'm doing the best I can which i know how.
If you don't like it. That's fine. Don't. But don't come and show me how much you don't appreciate it. If I don't ask, I don't care. And like everyone else, I doubt you do either.
Have a good night.
