This is a blessing...

I went to institute this morning and we talked about the parable about a girl and a bicycle.. A little girl asks her dad for a bike and he says that if she saves all her pennies she'l be able to afford a bike. Well one day she comes to her dad and says "Daddy! I've saved all my pennies!" So they go to the store, find the perfect bike, to find the little girl Sarah only has 63 Cents, while the bike is over $100. So she starts to cry and her dad says, Lets change our deal. If you give me a hug and a kiss and all the money you have, this bike is yours.

This  is kind of how the Savior works. He asks us to build a relationship with him and then we will be saved. He will bless our lives and fulfill and let us complete ourselves through his perfection. Something we can't achieve on our own. Very important and very amazing. I love this Parable because it truly is a blessing. This is a blessing. This opportunity we have to become perfect through him is the biggest blessing we have and the only chance we have.

As I sat in institute I thought about this parable, I thought about the relationship I have with my Savior and how everyone has their own individual relationship with him. I thought specifically of my Sister and her Husband and thought they have their relationship and one with Father in Heaven and the Savior. Just them. So many people don't believe that relationship with God and the Savior aren't important. Even for me, that at one time was a last resort. But today I sat their thinking about my Sister and her Husband.

In December they came and stayed with me and thinking back, they have helped show me that the relationship with God and the Savior and the Gospel is so important. Every night they sat down and read scriptures together. It didn't matter what I was doing, what my family was doing, whether they had time to really do that or not.. Whether my selfishness wanted to come in too play, they truly taught me something. By taking time to Read together I was thinking, wow... If it's important to them, its probably important all together.

I think Highly of Them and Courtney especially. One day I had texted her, telling her my plans to do something and didn't care anymore and was ready to take the jump to a new experience. I had with this situation talked to many other people about this situation and they were all very supportive. Except of Course Courtney. I knew what i was doing would be wrong but I didn't care until she said this. "Alright you can do that, and I'll still love you, but I WON'T Approve." You know that awkward moment when you realize you might possibly be wrong? Ha ya... That text changed my mind in an instance.

Since then, I have made many changes. But without certain people, my Family, my friends and Courtney and Jason and my Dad, I wouldn't have been able to see the important role the Gospel has and the crucial and vital point it plays in our  eternity and existence. The small and simple things are shown and may even change a person. The last 5 months I have made an extraordinary change in my eyes and how I feel. For that I consider myself blessed.

Alyssa

I can't believe it!!!!!

So I'm sitting in my room and just got back from class, I am sitting here in awe, I was talking to my mom and she asked me where I'm going to go to school after next year and I told her Weber State! Now Thats a year from now. What?! That's crazy! I mean that too! It feels like just yesterday I was moving into my apartment and new to being on my own and calling my mom 4-5 times a day. Now we talk maybe 2-3 times a week and I'll be moving back home in only 3 weeks! I can't believe everything has happened the last 8 Months- Just a little record of events--

• Moved away from home.
• Completing 1 year of College.
• Got a job for the summer.
• Got a visit from Courtney and Jason in December
• Courtney and Jason got married.
• I am referred to as a Success story from the school.
• My sister made and played on the High School B-Ball Team.
• Got to make some amazing friends!
• Get to go to the Manti Temple for the first time in 2 weeks. 
• Got to go to General Conference
• Made amends with myself.
• Improved my Psychological State by like 75%! 

Now that is a lot but at the same time not a lot. Great things have happened and it's only fair to truly focus on those amazing things! Planningly, those all are good and will or have happened :) Life is such a blessing! 

A Quote I heard that has truly helped me I stole from my sister goes like this-

"Stop telling God how big your storm is and start telling your storm how big your God is."

I love that quote, because its true! I have definitely made my storm run in fear thanks to my Father in Heaven and all the blessings he has helped me with! If you haven't heard the song "This" By Darius Rucker, listen to it!! Because That's how I feel right now, still have so much to happen, but where i'm at now, well I'm glad, because anything could have changed everything, but I am so lucky. Because I have the best family, the best friends, the best life in the world- despite the challenges I face. I'm happy, and So Thank God for all I missed, because it led me here to this :) 

Alyssa

Gotta deal with it...

A lot of people don't get who I am or why. For me, the biggest and hardest thing is trying to convince myself I'm worth something. At times when I get so frustrated or so annoyed and people look at me and tell me I look stupid or am being dramatic, it can be a self esteem dropper. This is mainly because I feel like an idiot and feel like maybe I would be better off as a hidden soul or someone who just wasn't there. Ya know? Musing on the idea of not existing can be a comfort. 

This happened tonight, but that's when I had a friend tell me that it is just the adversary. That Satan just wants me to feel the way I do. It's true. So many people are gonna think I'm dramatic, stupid, ridiculous, awful, selfish, angry, bitter and I guess it's come down too this. I just gotta deal with it. People are gonna tell me this is what i need to do, this is what needs to be fixed. This behavior has to stop. Some stuff obviously yes. But other things.. Its hard to make people understand the way I act or react is due to poor thinking and that isn't changed overnight. So when they say, you need to stop doing that... They are really telling me. "Alyssa, Stop thinking the way you think, so you can act the right way, the way you act off of the correct way to think." Haha that's a mouth full and reality is, that's the way it is. 

I have finally come to grips. Everyone has awful, stupid behaviors and things they do that bother everyone. What i have to do is just do things to please my Father in Heaven and let those people adjust to their extent and Ill adjust the best I can. Sometimes What is needed is to give a little and get a little. And for me, I think for everyone else, it would be best if I adjusted to what they need and what will help relationships with other people, than if I'm lucky im seeing, that people will adjust to me. 

Luckily, even if everyone hates me and hates my personality, God loves me and loves me for who I am. And that's I believe the blessing for everyone. Even if no one likes us, or likes who we are or how we are. God does and he thinks we are perfect the way we are. And I don't need anyone to tell me that or to accept me. I'm a good person and as long as I do and make God happy, everything else will fall into place. 

One less worry, one more happiness. Also Conference was EXCELLENT! 

Alyssa